There’s a prolonged heartbreak to loving a senior dog and bearing witness to the sunset moments along the way.
When the muzzle starts to gray
When you switch to mature adult food
When you add supplements
When he doesn’t want to play fetch for as long
When the muzzle starts to silver
When he’ll run after the ball, but not bring it back
When gray appears across his body
When medication is daily
When you realize you haven’t heard his voice in months
When his hearing fades
When you can’t remember the last time he ran
When he doesn’t bound after bumblebees
When the arthritis requires alternative treatments
When long walks become walks to the corner
When it becomes difficult to get up
When car rides are stressful
When yoga mats provide runways through the house
When he can no longer walk up the stairs
When he no longer wants to be carried upstairs
When he restlessly wanders, day and night
When you dredge his dry food into a mushy puree because he no longer has teeth
When he no longer sleeps on your side of the bed
When he occasionally has an accident
When he wears a diaper
When his breathing shifts
When he wears a diaper and a wrap
When you coax him into the yard for fresh air
When you startle him awake and for a moment he doesn’t know who you are
When you try to clean him and he reacts in fear
When he nuzzles your hand with the full weight of his head
With Zozo, there wasn’t a Big Sign. We had to choose the moment for him after weighing the ever-growing list of little signs, hoping that wasn’t too early or too late. Knowing that the air and energy and routine will never be the same again.
Today, he had a full breakfast and wore on a clean, jaunty kerchief. He followed us around the kitchen. He took a couple disco naps. It was a good morning. And then Dr. Abi from Lap of Love joined us. Zozo ate chocolate cake icing with redi-whip. He finally, finally could relax.
Our comedy guy. We love you. Thank you for being ours. Tell MJ we’re ok.